Cheap Gothic Soap Opera, Part 60

The crew went on to film another scene, and Tony was left alone. He walked up to a succession of stage hands asking for help, but they all gave him a cold shoulder without speaking. (He threw them in a trashcan; he had enough shoulders in his closet already, hot and cold.) One stagehand even threw coffee in his face, and another turned to dust at the feel of human flesh. He was just about to leave when he was pulled into the darkness...but a lamp was soon turned on and he saw that he was sitting at a desk opposite the director who had cast him minutes earlier. Then he saw that the director was wearing only a head-to-toe red spandex suit.
"umnmm.." said Tony, "why are you wearing only a head-to-toe red spandex suit?"
The slap was over as quickly as it had started. But it didn't feel like slap to Tony. It felt more like...a crossing of spheres.
"How dare you!" huffed the director, "This is the skin I was born in, just like you, fellow hoomahn." Something clicked in his throat. Something that wasn't supposed to click or supposed to exist in someone's throat.
"I'm sorry. Now what do you want with me? Who are you anyway?"
"I am Morgthaglath son of the Creator known to you and me as Mkrurklaw the Horrible." Tony's ears melted within the folds of themselves. The director shot a beam of light at them from his fingers and the ears grew back. "I was wondering if you would like to play the part of Samueliah Woodson on my show. Your performance impressed us all. We're also sorry about the audition process. PRODUCE-OR always has to have the final say on who is on "his show."
"Well it's a good offer, Mr...uh..M, but how do I know you aren't COMMUNIST! What college did you go to?!"
"HooMawhn College, USA."
"Oh. Well sorry if I doubted you. I'd love to be on your show."
"Yes. You will. Now sign here." The director pulled a scroll of his spandex. Tony wrote his name on the contract just as he saw a giant tentacled come out of the shadows. He finished, putting the heart above the last I in Spumoni, and everything went black....

(OP: Nate, May 22 2007)