The Before-the-War the Period, Section 5

Chapter 392: SLAVERY IS BAD

The day after Jackson defeated the Bank and incinerated the demented rubbery thing that had become Hamilton and sealed the gaping hole into the elderthing netherregions with his popularist campaigning machine, a new chapter began in American history, and newpapers everywhere revealed the "Best Kept South Secret":

QUOTE ("The Neww Yorke Thymes")

SPECIAL! SPECIAL! The South's Best Kept Secret: SLAVERY! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! RICHMOND, VA--- Millions of conscientious and and morally upstanding citizens in the Northern States are outraged to learn that the South, long known to be a quiet and strangely and suspiciously relaxed agricultural region, is the insidious motherwife to Slavery!!! A large cotton producing region often dismissed out of hand or forgotten altogether, the South is a big place, previously thought to be full of self-farming fields and aristocrats. But not--a horrible truth! The fields are not-self farming, nor was the economy, as previously thought, based on pride and arrogance distillation. A race of dark-skinned people, from a distant land known as "Aphrikah" (from the Greek ἀφρική, meaning "Yog-Sothoth"), are now known to have been enslaved in this land of once wondrous and suspiciously productive cotton fields. Some so-called "historians" and "professors" claim that this race that time forgot actually once served in the North, but this is not actually really true very much. An anonymous tip from Raty Snitcher disclosed this information, but the South denounces Mr. Snitcher's character as "untrustworthy" and "a snitch."

And thus the new American political situation began from a sudden realization, and once again the stranglehold of freedom settled over the nation. Suddenly there were debates, and there were arguments, and there was...A war.

TIMESONE!!!

(OP: Ben, February 16 2008)