...its hopes were crushed even more by the ascension of MORGONATH as Commandant of the Greater West. Born from a strange, top secret project undertaken in the early months of the Morcofe administration, MORGONATH* was a cross between a heavenly messiah, a peoples' commissar, and a tyrannosaurus rex. The Mormons loved him because he preached the end time, the communists (who were now looking similar to hairless mole rats) supported his Stalinesque mustache, and the pro-reptilian lobby were attracted by his scales, canines, and reduced vestigial tail. Taking control of the capital in Salt Lake City after a two week siege, he and his followers assembled an "End Times Government," which was intended to bring about world destruction.
His first order of business: the destruction of all plant life. Without plants, his advisers told him, there would be no oxygen, and all mankind, no longer oppressed by "Satan's fumes"**, could then ascend to heaven (or fall to hell, should one be a sinner). It looked good on paper, it really did, but burning forests with napalm took longer than expected, and forest fires destroyed part of the capital in October 2012. In the East, meanwhile, the bureaucrats allied with their natural allies and cousins, the soviet communists. They began to resist MORGONATH by shooting down his bombers which were leveling the eastern forests.
And then, when the elections were held, the nation held its breath. The bureaucrats had control of the electoral process, but MORGONATH had large canines and cartilaginous scales...
*Note: some scholars of the late Mormono-feminist period prefer to leave the second "O" uncapitalized (thus, MORGoNATH). For a discussion of demi-god name capitalization standards, see A Star of Born, by Rickardson and Clark, 1987.
**Note: see Jesus Now! A Course in Chemistry According to the Gospel, by Staltmouth, 1824.
(OP: Ben, August 26 2008)
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