The Colonial Era, Section 10

By 1776, England was facing a major crisis. Some masonic pals had gotten together in Philadelphia to joke around and write silly declarations of independence for just about every country there was. We often forget, but this was THE only kind of comedy back in the day, there were stand up comics who only dictate fake treatises to the audience, and comic strips composed of high-action declaration readers. The "Continental Congress" was the hippest comedy club in Phili, and all of the "cool" masons of the day were invited, including Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, and Roosevelt. All were invited except Sherby Facktick, who was not "cool" enough to go to the declaration writing party. And so when it was finished, he snuck into the building and took the funniest one, about America rebelling against England, and sent it to King George in order to get back at his masonic rivals.

Everyone in England thought it was a joke, because it was so funny and stupidly written, all but King George. He especially felt offended about the parts that called his wife "A rather obscenely obese cow of a whore," and the one that said how independence might be impossible to gain if "that exceedingly friendly great-grand-niece of the King keeps showing every American lad she finds a good time." Although these parts were erased later on by the British lobby in Congress, they were real enough at the time.

The Americans thought that the King just couldn't get a joke, but the English were more than willing to go to war, considering their obsession with killing rebels all around the world.

(OP: Ben, March 17 2007)