Attack of the Neptunian Space Beetles from Space, Part 33

A small, old man was sitting in his rocking chair. There was a blazing fire in the health, and many dumplings and hot-pies were sitting on a table.
"You're the GNOZTAR?" asked Sally.
"Young lady, you must have me confused with someone," replied the kind old man.
"Oh, then...I guess that I escaped the evil Bumblebees?"
"That's not important. I have things that you must know," said the trustworthy old gentleman kindly, "you need to know why you are here and of the nature of things."
Sally was too tired to say anything
The old man continued, "when your mother was only 25, she met a man named "Azathoth" at the local pub. He was a common "good-'ol-boy," the son of the local newspaper owner, or so he said. They became married and had two daughters."
"Me and Cyndy?" asked Sally.
"No, no, no... my dear child, where did you get such a notion?"
"Well...I thought...my ***FLASHBACKS*** told me..."
"Well don't trust them!" shouted the mean old man fiercly. "These two girls were the most vile, sinister, and cruel creatures ever known in the 47 quadrodeciseptants of tyrphilial space! For Azathoth was no "local boy," he was the son of the Prince Chyl-osph-zhai, of the beetleoid royal family of Neptune. They had come to Earth after enslaving the Bumblebees beneath the surface of Pluto 20,000 years ago. Little did they know that they had been cursed by this race of Bees to produce the most sinister off-spring even known.

And these two girls, "Asprine" and "Jacaline," after initiating all of the wars of the last century, left Earth for a much greater task. The girls went through a temporal vortex and visited the Bee race 20,000 years ago, before the Plutonian Wars. They both became Queens of the race. Then, back in the future, when their race became imprisoned beneath Pluto, they laid a curse upon the beetles, one that would both reaffirm their own creation and one that would doom the Beetles and Earth to destruction whenever the a beetle should land on that planet!!!

And so Azathoth, full of terrible shame, fled Earth, knowing that his continued presence would destroy the planet. His brother, Pyrithion, went back in time, one year before the curse of the Bees, and conceived Cyndy and you with your mother. He then took you two back to present time and raised you, your evil sisters having already fled. He left it up to you two to save the Earth from annihilation by the Bees.

But your real father was killed 500 years from now, hunted endlessly by the Bees. And so Azathoth took it upon himself to raise you two and prevent the victory of your EVIL HALF-SISTERS!

But the Soviets, led by the Bee Queens' evil psychic rays from the Pluto's core, invaded Neptune and the greater Gas Planets. They forced the Beetles into hibernation in Oorg asteroid belt. But, when the Bees telekinetically caused the collision of Soviet and Nazi satellites in that region, the Beetles were unfrozen. Not knowing of the curse, they came to Earth, chased along the way by the mind-waves of the Bees. And you know what happened next. For 2,000 years you have been fighting for humanity against the onslaught of the Bees and their hymenopteran allies.

Pyrithion, before his death, caused a rift in the spacio-temporal fabric of the universe, allowing your sister Cyndy to travel back again and again to the time just days before the detonation of the Raelogphyliographiniteion bomb. Each time, she has failed to stop it.

As you will fail too. Sally, it is time to give in to the will of the Bees. End the suffering! We will allow you Earth people to re-settle on the planet Schtraccers. It is...nice..with lots of...sand...and stuff."

Sally sat there, thinking...

(OP: Ben, August 1 2007)