Section 3, Chapter 2- The Whiskey Rebellion
Washington had gathered his cabinet members to discuss his plan for stopping Dagon.
"Well men," he said heroically, "This looks like the end. Dagon's a comin' and there ain't a damned lickedty split in heaven we can do 'bout it. Now, I may just be some president from Virginia, but I do know that sometimes a man's gotta fight, even when the chips are down, our luck is out, and the cows are home. So who's with me!"
"I am, Mr. President!" Alexander Hamilton shouted, tears in his eyes.
"I shall fight by your side until I am sent to atheist yeoman heaven where 70 mulatto women await me," said Thomas Jefferson, pounding his fists on the table.
Vice President Adams countenance was grave, but nonetheless, he said, "Let's give Dagon hell."
Aaron Burr was less certain in his belief in Washington. "Um," he stumbled, "I don't think this is a really good idea. In fact, it's actually a terrible idea, just terrible! So yeah, I think I'm going to go now," shooting and killing Alexander Hamilton on his way out just to emphasize his point.
So it was with fear in their hearts, steel in their minds, and battalion of highly deadly, necronomicon-trained, mad Arabian guards, that Washington, Adams, and Jefferson set out on that cold day in 1795 to make battle with that which cannot be fought...Dagon!
It had all the makings of a truly epic battle. Jefferson had even worn his extra cool clogs and stockings.
"Are you sure that you are ready for this?" Washington asked.
"I was born ready," replied Adams gruffly as he put on his sunglasses and started smoking a cigar.
Then, the ground began to shake. The sky turned blood red. The earth groaned with misery. As Dagon came into view, for he cannot be seen, the hearts of men turned to ash and the blood congealed in their veins, killing quite a few of them.
"You have brought the spear and the book," Washington asked the Arab commander, Al Jarreau.
"Yes Mr. President," he replied presenting the objects to him.
Washington placed the book on the ground.
"He approaches," said Adams.
"Hold the line. Steady men!" shouted Al Jarreau.
With every step, with every quaking of the lands of this earth, Dagon drew closer, and the madness grew in every man's mind.
"Mr. President," said Jefferson, getting frantic, "What are we to do?"
"You are to wait Thomas, you are to wait," Washington replied cryptically.
Dagon did not slow in his gait nor was his gaze averted. He kept his eyes, which were not really eyes, fixed straight on Washington.
Men began to break rank, fleeing in horror and insanity, as Dagon kept on coming.
Even Adams and Jefferson, believing him to be mad, left Washington to confront the evil that was now everpresent.
And then, Dagon was above him, waiting, just waiting for Washington to move. Washington looked up into his eyes. "Father, I avenge thee," he whispered, and then shouted "Log danthulshee-khai'mon del ckoract am toldoth!" driving the spear down into the book. Dagon began to lunge for Washington, but Washington now had a rocket launcher in his hands. Dagon stopped, puzzled.
"Boom." said Washington, shooting a rocket into Dagon's face. Dagon exploded, or rather, he did not, but imploded in a swirling vortex of worlds and horrors. "That was pretty epic," said Jefferson, pulling his head out of the hole where he had hid it.
The story begins to grow misty, and reports from this point onwards are anything but clear. One woman recalled seeing Washington burying a lobster shell in the dirt; a man believed he had seen Washington climbing into another world, a dream-realm. And thus was the Whiskey Rebellion won, so called because many of the soldiers who had participated in it, upon drinking record amounts of whiskey, became incredibly inebriated and thought that they had just won the rebellion against the british all over again.
Washington was never the same after the Whiskey "Rebellion." Despite winning the election after his defeat of Dagon, he would toss and turn in his bed late at night, envisioning the worlds and places of the old ones, wishing that he could ride to Karnath and see the glittering subterranean towers of Nul-shannahar. In his farewell speech, having seen the danger caused by the Dagon Lobby and getting involved in other realms that cannot be named, he urged his fellow Americans not to create a party system or to take sides in the affairs of other countries. Sadly, many americans, still drunk on whiskey, interpreted this as Washington telling them that they couldn't party with foreign chicks, and so completely ignored his advice.
Section 3 - America gives birth to the horrific two-headed spawn know as the Party System
Did you enjoy zein section of "Das Early Republick?" published by HappyFunTime Incorporated. Perhaps you vould be very much entertained by the happy-fun time of "Das Surprising Adventures of Zein Baron Munchausen," also published by HappyFunTime Incorparted. Ve know you vould enjoy it very much das goodtime. You could even have as much zeinen herren das muschden fun as these happy German peoples:
Zey are very very happy.
Washington had gathered his cabinet members to discuss his plan for stopping Dagon.
"Well men," he said heroically, "This looks like the end. Dagon's a comin' and there ain't a damned lickedty split in heaven we can do 'bout it. Now, I may just be some president from Virginia, but I do know that sometimes a man's gotta fight, even when the chips are down, our luck is out, and the cows are home. So who's with me!"
"I am, Mr. President!" Alexander Hamilton shouted, tears in his eyes.
"I shall fight by your side until I am sent to atheist yeoman heaven where 70 mulatto women await me," said Thomas Jefferson, pounding his fists on the table.
Vice President Adams countenance was grave, but nonetheless, he said, "Let's give Dagon hell."
Aaron Burr was less certain in his belief in Washington. "Um," he stumbled, "I don't think this is a really good idea. In fact, it's actually a terrible idea, just terrible! So yeah, I think I'm going to go now," shooting and killing Alexander Hamilton on his way out just to emphasize his point.
So it was with fear in their hearts, steel in their minds, and battalion of highly deadly, necronomicon-trained, mad Arabian guards, that Washington, Adams, and Jefferson set out on that cold day in 1795 to make battle with that which cannot be fought...Dagon!
It had all the makings of a truly epic battle. Jefferson had even worn his extra cool clogs and stockings.
"Are you sure that you are ready for this?" Washington asked.
"I was born ready," replied Adams gruffly as he put on his sunglasses and started smoking a cigar.
Then, the ground began to shake. The sky turned blood red. The earth groaned with misery. As Dagon came into view, for he cannot be seen, the hearts of men turned to ash and the blood congealed in their veins, killing quite a few of them.
"You have brought the spear and the book," Washington asked the Arab commander, Al Jarreau.
"Yes Mr. President," he replied presenting the objects to him.
Washington placed the book on the ground.
"He approaches," said Adams.
"Hold the line. Steady men!" shouted Al Jarreau.
With every step, with every quaking of the lands of this earth, Dagon drew closer, and the madness grew in every man's mind.
"Mr. President," said Jefferson, getting frantic, "What are we to do?"
"You are to wait Thomas, you are to wait," Washington replied cryptically.
Dagon did not slow in his gait nor was his gaze averted. He kept his eyes, which were not really eyes, fixed straight on Washington.
Men began to break rank, fleeing in horror and insanity, as Dagon kept on coming.
Even Adams and Jefferson, believing him to be mad, left Washington to confront the evil that was now everpresent.
And then, Dagon was above him, waiting, just waiting for Washington to move. Washington looked up into his eyes. "Father, I avenge thee," he whispered, and then shouted "Log danthulshee-khai'mon del ckoract am toldoth!" driving the spear down into the book. Dagon began to lunge for Washington, but Washington now had a rocket launcher in his hands. Dagon stopped, puzzled.
"Boom." said Washington, shooting a rocket into Dagon's face. Dagon exploded, or rather, he did not, but imploded in a swirling vortex of worlds and horrors. "That was pretty epic," said Jefferson, pulling his head out of the hole where he had hid it.
The story begins to grow misty, and reports from this point onwards are anything but clear. One woman recalled seeing Washington burying a lobster shell in the dirt; a man believed he had seen Washington climbing into another world, a dream-realm. And thus was the Whiskey Rebellion won, so called because many of the soldiers who had participated in it, upon drinking record amounts of whiskey, became incredibly inebriated and thought that they had just won the rebellion against the british all over again.
Washington was never the same after the Whiskey "Rebellion." Despite winning the election after his defeat of Dagon, he would toss and turn in his bed late at night, envisioning the worlds and places of the old ones, wishing that he could ride to Karnath and see the glittering subterranean towers of Nul-shannahar. In his farewell speech, having seen the danger caused by the Dagon Lobby and getting involved in other realms that cannot be named, he urged his fellow Americans not to create a party system or to take sides in the affairs of other countries. Sadly, many americans, still drunk on whiskey, interpreted this as Washington telling them that they couldn't party with foreign chicks, and so completely ignored his advice.
Section 3 - America gives birth to the horrific two-headed spawn know as the Party System
Did you enjoy zein section of "Das Early Republick?" published by HappyFunTime Incorporated. Perhaps you vould be very much entertained by the happy-fun time of "Das Surprising Adventures of Zein Baron Munchausen," also published by HappyFunTime Incorparted. Ve know you vould enjoy it very much das goodtime. You could even have as much zeinen herren das muschden fun as these happy German peoples:
Zey are very very happy.
(OP: Nate, January 26 2008)
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