The Colonial Era, Section 21

"What is this commie b***s***?!" General Robert P. Robertson shouted at the undisclosed personages of those unnamed individuals who were facing him .
"Backswab?" asked the general's terrified aide, who was hiding in the corner of what was certainly not a top-secret underground spy room in what was certainly not Langley, Virginia.
Certainly not.
"What did you say!" blared Robertson, turning his furor upon the unlucky assistant.
"Did you say 'commie backswab,' Sir?"
"Goodness gracious no! I said bullshit! Son, can't you hear a damned word I'm saying?"
"No. Sorry. Sir. No Sir. It's just that I couldn't understand what you were saying because of all the asterisks in your speech."
"What! Son, one of our greatest presidents spoke only in asterisks!"
"General, I don't think that's at all correct," one of the CIA spooks eerily interjected from across the secret government spy table.
"Did I ask your opinion! I don't think so! I don't even give a fig what you think! I asked you to get information on the Soviets for the government of this USA, and you brought me back one of the reds' textbooks! Hogwash! Phooey! Pringle! Someone go get me Uncle Sam's Big Book of Patriotic Uncommunistic America, so I can show you sumbitches what it means to love America!"
With a speed that only cowardly assistants possess, the general's aide had placed the book in his hands.
"Well, lessee here." The general thumbed through the book. "Page 144, the story of George Washington, the president who spoke only in asterisks and other obscure punctuations."

(OP: Nate, January 12 2008)