The Twentieth Century, Section 10

Chapter ∫sin(x^3)dx (Hint: use substitution rule)

The 70s: The Decade that Time Tried to Forget

There is very little to be said for the 70s, aside from the fact that they began on Jan 1, 1970 and ended on Dec 31 1979 and lasted far too long. They could even be called the "infamous", even the "sinister" 70s if historians could actually remember what happened during that historical vacuum, now only remembered by a mysterious page skip in most U.S. History textbooks.

The best we can estimate is that a kindly group of compassionate and sympathetic doctors decided to spare future generations the agony of remembering them by lobotomizing every single American man, woman, child, unborn child (a mysterious word that came into usage on exactly Jan 1, 1980), pet, disguised alien, and corpse (in the event of a zombie uprising that was considered inevitable as the dead would no doubt rise up and mercifully take the living). It remains one of the most heroic deeds in the history of mankind, but strangely it to is omitted from most history textbooks, as the physicians turned last upon themselves. It is believed the last of them took his life with one shot double-flintcock 17th century Venetian musket. The other shot was reserved for a message he taped to his forehead with duct tape stating, "IN CASE OF ZOMBIE UPRISING, SHOOT ME, GODDAMMIT."

(OP: Nick, April 24 2008)