Trixie's reign was not all that bad: she united East and West once more, instituted a new "intuitive" graduated income tax, and under her Presidency, more movies with contrived and hyper-sentimental plots were released than in the last 5000 years combined*. Others, however, criticize these "achievements" on the grounds that, first, the East was still controlled by a rogue confederation of guerrilla bureaucrats, second, the "intuitive" tax just meant that the rich could choose whether or not to pay taxes, and the contrived cinema boom was actually due to a new-found national fascination in heart-warming as a cure for cardiovascular disease.
Whatever the truth, Trixie's reign ended just as abruptly as it had begun. One day, as the feared dictator sat on her brightly decorated throne and stared down upon her cheerily blood-stained carpet, a rumbling seized the room, the great pillars of the Palace of Heaven, Happiness, and Cinnabons wavered. From out of the earth, a group of misshapen, grotesque, but otherwise well-groomed mole-communists lurched forth from the egalitarian abyss. They seized the panic stricken President and pulled her into their lairs. The gaping hole closed behind them, and although she briefly became President in 2018, she has never been heard from since. The communists had struck again, but it was not the last time that "Lenin's Children" (aka "Spawn of Lenin") would take an interest in the surface affairs.
In her wake, a massive power vacuum ensued, the depth of which only the space of eight years could fill...
*Note: according to Dr. Eustice Lairdminer, 6000 years is improbable, as the Proto-Sumerians had an insatiable thirst for Bollywood romance-musicals.
(OP: Ben, August 27 2008)
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