Everything was perfect in New York, the city. The sun was shining, the people were doing things, the major was working, the birds were smiling, the rats were scurrying, the wind was rustling peculiar melodies in the blood-red leafs, the flowers were bowing, and the trees were singing strange, strange songs that still yet haunt my soul.
*Flashback*
"Jefferson, throw the thing in the fire...before it's too late!"
"No wise slave woman, your sensible superstitions do not frighten me, a man of unnecessarily stubborn science."
Thomas Jefferson, having killed the parasitic lumpy figure of Hamilton (whose mouth had welded into Adam's neck, and whose abdomen was swollen red with the president's sucked away blood), dragged the body outside.
"All of god's creatures deserve a proper burial, be they human or hamilton," he said, feeling proud for his unintentional alliteration.
The ungodly thing was buried that day, Friday the 13th in the neighborhood Indian burial ground next to a black-cat vendor and a scary-looking pecan pie that just happened to be sitting there, steaming and frothing viciously.
**New Flashback**
"RgttonderTf, I told you to go fetch some Shuggoth for dinner!"
"Mom-thing, I promised Mrr. JgeTyd I would help him build his cyclopean temple to the great lord Azathoth of the three-lobed burning eye!"
"You can do that later, we need shuggoth, now!"
And so life was normal in the subterranean suburbs of the Old Ones, the star-fish headed things from the Antarctic continent reported by the Miskatonic expedition in 1912...until a small parasitic creature would change things forever. For Hamilton yet lived, and his powerful claws enabled him to dig his way down out of his coffin and into the caverns deep in the earth.
When he arrived there, he gathered his lovecraftian oratory strength, and gave a powerful speech, rousing the usually domestic and mundane Old Ones into a state of political furor, for now they planned and plotted to break forth into the upper worlds, driven by Hamilton's lust for revenge.
**New Flashback Ends**
*Flashback Ends*
On July 4th 1830 (that is independence day, the day that America gained independence from Britain and forged a new national identity), the people of New York walked about doing things and eating things, but they weren't really thinking about how the crinoid Old Ones from Earth's primal youth were plotting the demise of the United States, starting in New York, the city. Note that the impending doom and the sentimental date make things more ironic and scary.
During Lunchtime on the 4th of July, the ground started shaking violently.
Andrew Jackson, who was visiting the city for the 4th of July parades, thought,
"that's odd, the ground doesn't usually shake on the 4th of July."
Then a rip in the earth 13 feet in length opened up, yawning into the pits of hell,
"well that's odd. Melonie doesn't usually fall into a pit of death screaming 'help me. help me. Aggghhh the miserable pain. Just kill me, already. Magna Mater. Magna Mater. Atys. Iä Iä Cthulhu fhtagn. Truly this is hell. I am in hell. There is no god.'"
And then, from the shadows, and out of the depths, came a colossal...thing...a machine made of granite cyclopean pillars and dark basalt death. And then a voice arose: "I am Hamilton. Behold, the Second BANK of the United States!."
And so began the Bank Wars.
Do you ever feel unhappy? Or a Problem for YOU?
WELL NO MORE! NO PROBLEMS! ALL HAPPY!
JUST CLICK HERE!
JUST GIVE US YOUR CREDIT CARD #, YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY #, YOUR ADDRESS, NAME, PHONE #, MAJOR PASSWORDS AND SCREEN NAMES, PIN #, BANK ACCOUNT #! FREE!!!FREE!!!FREE!!!
(OP: Ben, February 1 2008)
*Flashback*
"Jefferson, throw the thing in the fire...before it's too late!"
"No wise slave woman, your sensible superstitions do not frighten me, a man of unnecessarily stubborn science."
Thomas Jefferson, having killed the parasitic lumpy figure of Hamilton (whose mouth had welded into Adam's neck, and whose abdomen was swollen red with the president's sucked away blood), dragged the body outside.
"All of god's creatures deserve a proper burial, be they human or hamilton," he said, feeling proud for his unintentional alliteration.
The ungodly thing was buried that day, Friday the 13th in the neighborhood Indian burial ground next to a black-cat vendor and a scary-looking pecan pie that just happened to be sitting there, steaming and frothing viciously.
**New Flashback**
"RgttonderTf, I told you to go fetch some Shuggoth for dinner!"
"Mom-thing, I promised Mrr. JgeTyd I would help him build his cyclopean temple to the great lord Azathoth of the three-lobed burning eye!"
"You can do that later, we need shuggoth, now!"
And so life was normal in the subterranean suburbs of the Old Ones, the star-fish headed things from the Antarctic continent reported by the Miskatonic expedition in 1912...until a small parasitic creature would change things forever. For Hamilton yet lived, and his powerful claws enabled him to dig his way down out of his coffin and into the caverns deep in the earth.
When he arrived there, he gathered his lovecraftian oratory strength, and gave a powerful speech, rousing the usually domestic and mundane Old Ones into a state of political furor, for now they planned and plotted to break forth into the upper worlds, driven by Hamilton's lust for revenge.
**New Flashback Ends**
*Flashback Ends*
On July 4th 1830 (that is independence day, the day that America gained independence from Britain and forged a new national identity), the people of New York walked about doing things and eating things, but they weren't really thinking about how the crinoid Old Ones from Earth's primal youth were plotting the demise of the United States, starting in New York, the city. Note that the impending doom and the sentimental date make things more ironic and scary.
During Lunchtime on the 4th of July, the ground started shaking violently.
Andrew Jackson, who was visiting the city for the 4th of July parades, thought,
"that's odd, the ground doesn't usually shake on the 4th of July."
Then a rip in the earth 13 feet in length opened up, yawning into the pits of hell,
"well that's odd. Melonie doesn't usually fall into a pit of death screaming 'help me. help me. Aggghhh the miserable pain. Just kill me, already. Magna Mater. Magna Mater. Atys. Iä Iä Cthulhu fhtagn. Truly this is hell. I am in hell. There is no god.'"
And then, from the shadows, and out of the depths, came a colossal...thing...a machine made of granite cyclopean pillars and dark basalt death. And then a voice arose: "I am Hamilton. Behold, the Second BANK of the United States!."
And so began the Bank Wars.
Do you ever feel unhappy? Or a Problem for YOU?
WELL NO MORE! NO PROBLEMS! ALL HAPPY!
JUST CLICK HERE!
JUST GIVE US YOUR CREDIT CARD #, YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY #, YOUR ADDRESS, NAME, PHONE #, MAJOR PASSWORDS AND SCREEN NAMES, PIN #, BANK ACCOUNT #! FREE!!!FREE!!!FREE!!!
(OP: Ben, February 1 2008)
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