He came to the ground having felt a vaguely fern-like appendage grab his leg-like appendage occuring not after the main verb of the sentence but actually before it despite being placed after it in the sentence when all those with even half a fern-like appendage should realize that's it's placement within the sentence is arbitrary, unless one should care about that type of thing, in which case in might have an impact on the mood of the reader reading this, which is to say that the mood would be affected not before the reader reads this but that the mood would be affected after the reader reads this in which there is chronicled the many events of the eponymous, yet surprisingly genteel titular councillar who wins the hearts of millions when he rescues Lassie from the aliens of Hysteron Proteron 18ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffthe writer of this piece of work is experiencing a rare form of insanity brought on by the UHS bacterium, which is too terrifyingly horrific and maddeningly non-euclidean that to even attempt to describe the colorations that appeared in swaths of tentacular dementia would result in the very destruction of all that we hold dear by forces beyond the control of even those forces themselves!
But Tony was not aware of the plight of his creator, or if he was, he simply ignored so as not to seem rude. Instead, he brought the book down upon the fern that was creeping up his leg. It ferned in agony at the touch of a creation of the writors, and it went limp, as did his leg.
Tony sprang up like a broken jack-in-the-box, ready to fight any sentient plant-form within a ten-foot radius. But the ferns were gone.
"Well, that was easy," Tony said, setting himself up quite easily. A bit too easily.
Four ferns flopped their frilly fingers in his face, blocking Tony's vision. He began poking his eyes frantically, and after about five minutes, the ferns once again fell to the ground, lifeless with that horrible dead fern look that haunts the soul.
Tony was still wary, but he was soothed by the warm blood gushing out of his eye sockets and dripping down his face. A few drops hit the book in his hands, and it began to shake. He dropped it in surprise. The book opened as it hit the ground. It sat there for minutes emanating, just emanating when suddenly, it began to expand and grow larger until a great fiery sphere was burning before him. Mistaking it for a bus, Tony jumped in. Little did he know. SJHueio and a band of ninja ferns had jumped in after him.
Meanwhile, in the dining room of the communal house, a hippie frat-boy rushed in. "Dude Tony!" he shouted, "you won the reality show! You got $10 million and an all expenses paid trip to Miskatonic University! Dude? I guess he left."

(OP: Nate, January 24 2008)
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