Cheap Gothic Soap Opera, Part 68

"Uh, hello?" Tony stepped forward hesitantly.
"Hello to you, Tony Spumoni," replied a man dressed in a suit sitting in a chair holding a scotch, yet not moving anything at all, not even his lips.
"Hello," murmured all the other people, motionless and still as stones.
"Um. Why aren't your mouths mov-"
"UGh! Must we explain everything to you?"
"-but you haven't explained anyth-"
"Very well. If you must have it explained I guess I shall explain."
"-and I really have to urin-"
"We are the writing box spirits, and we're inhabiting the bodies of these people for the moment. We have been fighting the producing spirits in their many shapes and forms on many different battlefields throughout all the worlds and dimensions of space and time. We were defeated on your world, and all our award-winningly-scripted shows were replaced with reality shows. Thus we are forced to depart and resume the fight for our cause in a different universe. Since you have passed our test, we are designating you as our ally, spy, and special friend in this world. Understand."
"But huh? How did I pass your test? What am I supposed to do? I really have to pee."
"Look. You passed our test by experiencing a never-ending cycle of the strange and mundane without going completely crazy. This gift of yours shall aid you in your upcoming task. And about you having to go to the bathroom.."
Tony felt an odd sensation.
"What did you just do?"
"We removed the urine from your bladder and placed it in one of these drinking glasses."
"But I still have to go!"
"Oh. Yeah. We replaced the urine with brandy. Now, when you urinate it shall always have a distinctive smell. But now we must go. May you fare well in your task."
"What task?" shouted Spumoni, but no one responded.
Then the people started moving.
"Who is he?" asked one woman, not so subtly pointing at Tony.
"He must be another one?" replied a different woman.
"Another what?" thought Tony, but before could speak, a man came into the room with a microphone and a man holding a camera following behind.
"Well, the guests have all arrived at the house now," the man said smoothly, "Who knows what fights and drama they'll get into! Looks like you'll just have to keep watching 'I Want to be a Cheap Gothic Soap Opera Star' on Bravh1!"
"A reality show. Dear god, I'm on a reality show," thought Tony. It was the most intense fear that he'd ever felt in his life. Suddenly, his pants smelled of brandy.

(OP: Nate, January 21 2008)